10 Worst Films of the First Half of 2015

I am a very open minded person and I am proud of my philosophy that every film deserves a chance. Well, not every. I wouldn't watch a moment of The Human Centipede trilogy if you paid me to do so. I will watch almost everything though and regardless of what others say, I will form my own opinion.

One problem with this philosophy though: I see a lot of bad films.

Here are the ten worst efforts of 2015 thus far:

10. Adult Beginners

A talented comedic cast gave me hope. The painfully unfunny writing killed it. Adult Beginners just didn't elicit any laughs. Well, actually I think I literally did chuckle twice, but that's it, and the dramatic angle wasn't nearly dramatic enough either. Predictable and familiar and a film I certainly will never revisit.

9. The Boy Next Door

Anyone who has seen The Boy Next Door could and probably will make a pretty compelling case that it is the worst film of the year, and I have trouble arguing against such a thought. It's completely terrible. Despite this, the reason I ranked 8 films as being worse is because I found this one to be "fun bad". It's one of those movies in the vein of something produced by the Lifetime Network which are always atrocious yet I can't turn them off because their poor quality is actually what makes them entertaining. I would watch this again tomorrow with someone else who has not seen it and laugh early and often at how ridiculous it is.

8. The Lazarus Effect

I would have loved for The Lazarus Effect to have been "fun bad" like The Boy Next Door. Unfortunately, this was simply bad bad. Horror that wasn't scary. Likable actors doing nothing to exhibit their talent or charms. Just a stupid plot going through the lazy, predictable motions of a forgettable genre film. 

7. Poltergeist

I am typically not an anti-remake guy, but when you approach something like Poltergeist with such lazy intentions, what's the point? This did absolutely nothing to separate itself from the iconic original film. I can't imagine anyone seeing this movie and feeling the desire to buy it and keep it along side the original, something you might do if it were a different, unique vision of the material. This Poltergeist is just uninspired and boring. 

6. Hot Girls Wanted

I love a good documentary. Hot Girls Wanted is not a good documentary. It seemed like it had potential based on the premise, a film about the changing landscape of the porn industry shifting away from highly paid female porn "stars" and instead churning through 18-20 year old girls who are expecting a glamorous lifestyle from entering the industry. 

Unfortunately the end result is essentially a mediocre and forgettable episode of the MTV series "True Life". Such a run of the mill, bland experience.

5. Unfriended

Hey, want to watch teenage girls and boys Skype with each other for 5 minutes? No? Okay, how about for 75 minutes? Does that sound any better?

Just because a concept is original doesn't make it good. "Modern Family" did an episode this past season where the entire thing plays out through Claire's computer screen and it was immensely better in every possible way than this turd of a film. Unfriended is hard to watch almost instantly, and not once did I care about the fate of these characters.

If it were a five minute short about dopey teens sticking their hands in blenders, I'm buying what that is selling. Just thinking about Unfriended gives me a headache. 

4. Chappie

Oh Neill Blomkamp. What happened to you? Was District 9 a fluke?

Elysium was a sub-par sophomore effort. Chappie is so, so much worse. 

Honestly, I have little else to say. This film is an unexciting mess.

3. The Wedding Ringer

Oh boy. This was the first 2015 release I saw back in January, and I knew it was a pretty safe bet it would pop up on any worst of lists I created going forward. The Wedding Ringer is a comedy that isn't funny. It is poorly acted, especially by Kaley "What does that cue card say?" Cuoco. It is dreadfully familiar and predictable and uninspired, all the usual words to describe such a total failure. 

2. The Cobbler

I should just reserve a spot on these lists every 6 months for an Adam Sandler effort. The Cobbler is made by Thomas McCarthy, who actually made really good films prior to this. It's like anything that touches Sandler turns to shit, because this is just awful. It's offensively unfunny, the premise is ridiculous and the ending? Oh my goodness the ending. I laughed when the twist is revealed, but for all the wrong reasons.

1. Mortdecai

Oh....oh no. I have to think about Mortdecai again. That's unfortunate.

Of all the unfunny in the cinema landscape so far this year, nothing is more unfunny than this. I have no idea what the goal was here, but it didn't just fail, it crashed and burned and then somehow crashed and burned again. 

At this point Johnny Depp is nothing more than a cartoon character spoof of himself. Just a dreadfully misguided picture from start to finish.

The Innocents Review

There is something inherently haunting about horror filmed in black and white. It puts such a high importance on lighting to set an ominous and downright creepy tone, with a shadowy room or the flicker of a candle filling you with far more dread than any drop of blood ever could. The Innocents went from a movie that was totally off of my radar one minute to being a chilling and essential experience the next.

Until I decided to randomly look up various lists of the best horror films ever made, the name Jack Clayton was meaningless and I had never even heard of The Innocents. I'm thrilled to have been finally acquainted with both. This movie has such a classic ghost story feel to it, one that you can show to a bit of a younger audience and spook them out which is such a rare treat to find these days, especially for it being so great as well. You shouldn't have to settle on quality when you want to watch a horror film with a wider audience.

Whenever a new entry into the horror genre is about to be released, I notice the common reaction is to check the rating and if anything less than R is applied, extreme disappointment follows soon after. It isn't that I have anything against more mature content, but I don't relate quality with graphic intensity. A good film is a good film, whether it contains literally zero violence or piles of missing limbs and torture scenes. 

The Innocents isn't violent or sexually graphic, but it is scary.

It's really damn great too.

4.5/5

Decades of Cinema - 10 Best of the 1980's

My previous "Decades" lists are as follows: 1920's, 1930's, 1940's, 1950's, 1960's, and 1970's. Here we are in the decade I was born in, the 1980's. These are my ten favorite films released during those ten years.

10. Blade Runner

On the previous list I included a science fiction masterpiece by Ridley Scott, a little film you may have heard of called Alien. Here we are again with the same director and the same description. Ridley is pretty hit or miss with me over the course of his whole career, but he went back to back with Alien and then Blade Runner. For that I will always love him.

9. Back to the Future

Much of my lists for both the 80's and the 90's will be soaked in nostalgia for me, films that I have wonderful memories of watching on repeat growing up. Back to the Future is one of those. Just thinking about this one fills me with joy.

8. Full Metal Jacket

This, however, is not one of those films I am referring to when I mention nostalgia. I saw Full Metal Jacket once when I was a teenager and I don't recall feeling too much in either direction regarding it. As an adult though, things changed and I fell in love. Stanley Kubrick follows the narrative of the source material the film is adapted from (The Short-Timers, by Gustav Hasford) and separates the movie into two halves, the first being the iconic boot camp sequence and the second being a more traditional horrors of war story. As a whole, it is remarkable.

7. Grave of the Fireflies

Oh, was I just talking about war? Well here we go again with more on the subject, the beautiful yet heartbreaking Grave of the Fireflies. I cried so damn much when I watched it. Seriously. One of the finest by Studio Ghibli, but not the finest. More of their brilliance to come...

6. The Shining

The third decade and fifth film overall on these lists by Stanley Kubrick, and it won't be the last either. The Shining is sublime horror, the kind that would keep a younger me up at night.

5. Aliens

My love for the original Alien flourished the older I got, as adult me found much more appreciation in its nuance than kid me ever could have. Aliens, however, this had childhood Scott written all over it. Ripley kicked my young ass on repeat and I literally had nightmares I can still remember today, vivid and intense dreams involving xenomorphs crawling into my room.

4. My Neighbor Totoro

I promised more Ghibli above and I have delivered! My Neighbor Totoro...animation doesn't get much more gorgeous, touching and imaginative than this. A masterpiece that demands to be seen, regardless of your age.

3. Cinema Paradiso

I recently posted my review of the treasure Cinema Paradiso, one of the truly great love letters to cinema the medium has ever produced. This one doesn't just have a beating heart, it is bursting with passion and emotion. If you watch this and don't have a smile on your face during much of the running time, color me surprised.

2. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

A best of 1980's list was never not going to have a Star Wars flavor to it. The holy trilogy pretty much defined my 80's, 90's, hell I still can't quench my thirst for them to this day. So yeah, I bet you can guess how the list will end...

1. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

Up until a year or two ago, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back wouldn't merely have been my favorite film from the 1980's, it was my favorite movie period. Now it sits at #2, with my favorite still to come in a future list. The Empire Strikes Back has quite possibly the greatest pacing of any film I have ever seen. Despite it happening during roughly my 100th viewing just a year or so ago, it occurred to me for the first time that somehow, almost impossibly a picture so packed to the brim with iconic scenes, famous quotes and recognizable imagery is only right around two hours in length yet it also never feels even slightly rushed. It just happens, and it does so with perfection. 

Next up will be the 1990's, a decade in which I went from being a 6 year old watching films way too mature for me to a 15 year old who finally started to understand what they meant. One of the movies on that list is represented with the picture above.

Near Dark Review

It's a really difficult thing to explain, how one film can succeed in this regard and another can completely fail, but part of what makes Near Dark so delicious is its setting, the landscapes these characters occupy. It can't be easy, trying to deliver a part horror, part western genre blend like Kathryn Bigelow does so effectively here and the reason it works is because the picture never feels like it's filmed on a calculated and constructed Hollywood set piece. Despite telling a story revolving around vampires, Near Dark always maintains at least a hint of realism thanks to the fact that I could practically feel the dust and dirt on my skin as I watched. 

The photography throughout is aces, a unique atmosphere captured by Adam Greenberg as he manages to make the typical western terrain feel cold and lifeless, which is appropriate given the subject and state of the characters in the film. While the score is perfect for 1987, the year in which Near Dark was released, the work of Tangerine Dream continues to suit the material perfectly and honestly I think my recent infatuation with the brand new horror beauty It Follows aided in my affection of the music here. Essentially now I want all of my horror to be carried forward with the nightmarish tones of a synthesizer. 

I won't lie, I have become weary of vampires as the central piece in both television and cinema over the past number of years but Near Dark transcends any issues I may have had going in. I love the way Bigelow humanizes the characters rather than present them as mere monsters. I actually found myself viewing Caleb (Adrian Pasdar) and the rest of the traveling team of vampires as drug addicts rather than fictional creatures that literally suck the blood out of their victims, and I can't help but wonder if this really was a metaphor attempted in the film. Even the most ridiculous members of their group, like Severen (played memorably by Bill Paxton) manage to feel like actual people rather than the cartoonish concept of what a vampire is, lurking only in the shadows quietly looking to fulfill a craving. These characters are fun and interesting and in some cases continues to display an understanding of what it means to have a moral compass, and I was really able to connect with the movie because of this. 

A concern I always have for watching an 80's horror film for the first time is that the tone and material will feel dated, and in some ways this is an issue in Near Dark like some of the costume design that was clearly appealing to an audience then but seems completely silly now. I didn't let any of this bother me though because in every other way this is a genre film that continues to flourish decades later. 

Near Dark not only felt alive and memorable in 2015, I feel like I need to shower after watching despite being totally clean. Job well done, Kathryn Bigelow. Job well done.

4/5

Decades of Cinema - 10 Best of the 1970's

If you missed my previous decades lists you can find the 1920's here, the 1930's here, the 1940's here, the 1950's here, and the 1960's here. On we go to the 1970's, here are my ten favorite films from a remarkable decade.

10. Badlands

My man Terrence Malick, who crafted my favorite film of all time makes the list here with his incredible debut Badlands. The story of a teenage girl who gets swept up in a romance with the much older Kit, a man doing his best James Dean impression, and what results when they run away together is a killing spree spread across the badlands in South Dakota. Truly one of the most impressive debuts I have seen.

9. Jaws

How much really needs to be said about Jaws? It is iconic cinema and if the 1970's weren't so loaded with amazing movies, you would find this much higher than 9th considering it resides in my 100 favorite films of all time list. It is the film that made people afraid to go in the water.

8. Autumn Sonata

I only recently watched Autumn Sonata for the very first time and yet here it is, in my top 10 of arguably the finest decade of films ever. It's that great. Yet again Ingmar Bergman finds his way into these lists and with good reason. Brilliantly performed, powerful cinema that is impossible to shake after it ends, Autumn Sonata is simply masterful.

7. The Spirit of the Beehive

Do you see that look on the face of the little girl above? That was me while I watched The Spirit of the Beehive, a lyrical and spellbinding film about a young child who attends a screening in her town of Frankenstein and becomes fascinated with the monster portrayed. The Spirit of the Beehive takes place during the Spanish civil war and the imagination of a child is a form of escape for a mind too young to process the chaos around her. Guillermo del Toro declared this to be one of his all time favorite films and it obviously served as the inspiration for his very own masterpiece Pan's Labyrinth. 

6. Stalker

Stalker infected my brain both during and after I watched it and I couldn't let go of how brilliant and confounding of an experience it is. Seriously, if you have ever wondered why Andrei Tarkovsky is regarded as one of the finest auteurs since the medium of film was created, sit back and just let the oddness and beauty of Stalker totally envelop you. It is artistic, soulful, weird and haunting stuff.

5. Halloween

It's easy to freak people out when inside a world shrouded in darkness and shadows, and John Carpenter utilizes those factors with brilliance as well, but you know what else he does? He makes walking down the street on a bright, normal afternoon terrifying as well. Halloween is an absolutely incredible horror film that reminds us that pure evil not only exists, it can be roaming nearby under any circumstances.

4. Alien

I had the opportunity to see Alien at the beautiful old fashioned Tivoli theater in Downers Grove last year for the films 35th anniversary, a special midnight screening and it was an experience I will never forget. So many excited fathers ready to show their teenage sons what the phrase "In space, no one can hear you scream." really means, the place packed with eager cinema lovers ready to experience the nostalgic glow of one of their favorites on the big screen. Alien is a science fiction horror masterpiece.

3. The Godfather Part II

Some would safely say The Godfather: Part II is the greatest sequel ever made and it is hard to argue (although I would, as my choice for such an award will be on the 1980's list). This is pretty much a perfect film in every way and yet it only gets as high as #3 of its decade. That's because...

2. The Godfather

The Godfather is essentially perfect cinema as well and I will always have an ever so slight preference for it over its sequel. Something about the story of the original and the flow of it all, it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. To some this is safely the greatest movie ever made, and for me it is in fact top ten, but it still can't win the 1970's.

1. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

It's hard to beat Star Wars in my book. Not only is the trilogy packed to the brim with warm wonderful nostalgia for me considering how cherished the films were growing up, but they overflow when revisited as an adult and I realized, my goodness these are just great movies regardless. The start of the saga in 1977 is something glorious to behold, a space opera that builds characters and mythology was ease. Later this year I will be revisiting the entire Star Wars journey (yes, even the prequels) to prepare for Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Next I will move into a decade I was actually alive during, the 1980's. Above is a picture from a film that will appear on that list.

The Lazarus Effect Review

I'm sure there are a lot of dudes out there in the world who would be pretty psyched if Olivia Wilde were to wink at them. Unless of course it happens after she has been injected with the Lazarus serum, because zombie Wilde means business. Not fun, sexy business either, no sir. If the undead Olivia even so much as looks in your general direction, you gonna die baby!

The Lazarus Effect is a film that was on life support long before they ever shot a single scene. When a screenplay is this lazy and predictable, a director can pull every trick they can think of out of their bag and you can lavish as much dazzling cinematography on the audience as you want and it is still going to be a long shot to earn my recommendation. So imagine how far I am from a thumbs up here when I point out that director David Gelb had essentially no tricks in his bag and the photography was about as run of the mill as you can find. This is a movie that was about as lifeless as the dog they bring back from puppy heaven.

It wasn't a train wreck at any colossal level, early on I actually felt like something mildly cool could come from this one. You can tell that somewhere bubbling behind the lazy writing were some genuinely intriguing ideas regarding the advancements being made in medicine and the concept of why it may not be so ideal to play god, but at only 77 minutes long The Lazarus Effect quickly rushed through any potential moment to bring any substance to the narrative. Even the way the characters are "developed" is completely mishandled because at no point do we even have a chance to breathe and learn to understand and care for these people. If you want to make the death of a main character carry some emotional weight for your audience, you need to give them a reason to give a shit beyond turning a pretty face into a corpse on camera.

I can't find much negative to say about the performances across the board, including the supporting cast of Donald Glover, Evan Peters and Sarah Bolger, but I also can't find much positive to say about their characters or what they brought to the table. If you have seen this film perhaps you can explain to me, what was the point of having Niko (Glover) be in love with Zoe (Olivia Wilde)? Honestly, please help me out, because I can't find any single reason to include that side plot except perhaps the writers had a misguided notion that it would make us care about them more as people? I would love to be proven wrong, for someone to tell me why those longing looks Niko gave her from a distance had any relevance whatsoever to the big picture, but I doubt it.

Essentially this was a rushed "horror" film in which every scare is of the jump variety and none of them were particularly effective due to being so damn predictable. Oh, you are going to look under the table to see what is down there? I bet when you come back up it will be waiting for you!!! BOO!

I wanted to at least have a little bit of a fun with The Lazarus Effect, but this one never had much of a pulse.

1.5/5

It Follows Review

It follows.

No, seriously, it follows.

As soon as the credits hit the screen, I knew I had loved what I had seen. Actually I knew it the entire time I watched it. Horror is a genre that I don't easily warm up to and the trailers before the film were a perfect representation of why. So predictable, so obvious, all the expected tropes of generic cheap cinema scares that have no trouble selling tickets at the box office and yet they do so little to truly inspire. It Follows is different though. It Follows is special, a film released in 2015 and yet it invoked a feeling of nostalgia in me, as if it were released 30 years earlier, the type of movie I would have watched late at night with friends as a teen.

Was I scared though?

I drive home from the theater feeling buzzed, replaying my favorite scenes in my head over and over, pondering some of the subtle nuances of the movie that made It Follows a far richer cinematic experience than what was merely presented on the surface. My car comes to a stop along the way and I glance over at a man on the sidewalk, walking slowly, shrouded in darkness. The chill of the nighttime air flows through the windows and I recognize the goosebumps that covered my arms. In that moment everything was normal, yet it felt anything but.

Was I scared though?

I make the same turn into my driveway that I make every single day and my headlights make shadows dance across the neighboring homes. My heart literally skips a beat and I momentarily am engulfed with a feeling of dread as I see a man standing just off to the side. A closer look reveals there is no man there at all, but what did I see? Were my eyes merely playing a trick on me? Yeah, that's probably it. I remind myself that there is nothing to worry about, yet I have an extra bounce in my step as I head up the stairs and through my front door.

Was I scared though?

I sit here now, writing these words and I can't get the score by Disasterpeace out of my mind. So damn perfect for the material, at times it felt as if it was already iconic, like it was destined to send chills down the spines of viewers for many years to come. I can't stop thinking about the confident, stylish direction by David Robert Mitchell, especially a few specific sequences in which his camera turns slowly and with ease, at a perfect pace and rhythm to make your heart race just a few beats faster, make you wonder what will be waiting for you when it comes full circle. I can't stop thinking about the look of sheer terror in the eyes of star Maika Monroe as she saw something others could not, the way she trembled at the sight of something as seemingly innocent as an open door.

Am I scared though?

Yeah, I kinda am. 

It feels fucking great.

4.5/5

Vampyr Review

My only previous experience with filmmaker Carl Theodor Dreyer came when I witnessed the miracle known as The Passion of Joan of Arc a little over a year ago, which after a revisit has safely found a spot in my five favorite films of all time. Vampyr is certainly not lacking in terms of craft, as it is a remarkably well realized film and the atmosphere achieved is actually enhanced by the fact that it was released in 1932. It's hard to explain, but something about the authenticity of its age rather than just a modern work re-created to feel old makes this horror classic all the more surreal, and thus it is impossible to not feel that creepy tingle down your spine throughout.

Despite the fact that the film itself really did nothing wrong, I can't help but feel a bit of disappointment after watching my second Dreyer work, and the truth is it's my fault. The word gets tossed around a lot and thus it may have lost some of its impact, but The Passion of Joan of Arc is a masterpiece in every sense of the word. It is pitch perfect, emotionally exhausting, powerful cinema. When I watched it, I had tears in my eyes and I wasn't even sure why. It's just so damn beautiful. Vampyr was everything I could have expected in terms of style and Dreyer was clearly a visionary behind the camera, but a deeper connection is missing. 

A step down for Carl Theodor Dreyer, yet still a finer achievement than a vast majority of films in the horror genre. Late at night in a pitch black room, the flicker of haunting imagery filmed over 80 years ago made my skin crawl and my eyes play tricks on me, as if shadows cast across the walls were something far more sinister. If you were thinking about paying money to rent some terrible bullshit like Annabelle, put the remote down and give Vampyr a look instead.

4/5

Resolution Review

It's such an exciting feeling, when a film is announced that you know without a doubt you will be seeing with high expectations the moment it is released. A director is chosen and it inspires a reaction inside me, good or bad. Casting news, who will be composing the score, which top of the line cinematographer is selected to dazzle the audience with their keen eye. The first teaser trailer, a second one unveiling far more detail, and various clips to quench the cinematic thirst until the picture is finally released and I can take my seat, overflowing with anticipation, counting on the finished product being everything I could have hoped for and more.

This is the progression that many films take with me, as I am following the news and checking for updates on a regular basis, so when literally 30 some hours ago a friend of mine gave me a recommendation of a movie that I had never even heard of, I took notice. I did absolutely no homework after he told me the title as I decided to enter the experience as fresh as I possibly could, with an untainted mind and with the definition of zero expectations. I just clicked over the Netflix streaming, located Resolution and hit play. I was handed the gift of a fresh movie experience and I couldn't wait to unwrap it from the beginning. 

Directed by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead, Resolution is a deceiving, completely surprisingly experience and I mean that as a very, very big compliment. During the first half of the picture, perhaps even beyond that, I watched it assuming it was merely a well made but relatively routine supernatural horror film. I admired it throughout because it was very well made and clearly an example of making the most of a low production budget, but I just kept waiting for the obvious and expected to occur. However, as the conclusion drew near it became apparent that this was a bold, unique and original work that was headed in a far different direction than I has assumed, and a huge smile literally spread across my face. I am reminded of when I screened the Gareth Edwards film Monsters last year, one that crept up on me and knocked my socks off by the time the final frame left the screen. Resolution is so damn good.

The premise is basic and extremely minimalist in nature. Michael and Chris were best friends but are headed in very different directions, Michael a married man with a baby on the way, Chris literally hiding out in a cabin in the woods, addicted to crack and headed down a path that can only result in an early death. Michael decides to take one more chance at saving Chris and cleaning up his life, but this won't be a simple intervention or a heartfelt conversation while hoping for the best. Michael has a taser and a pair of handcuffs, and he is willing to use both to ensure that Chris can neither leave this cabin nor smoke the rest of his stash.

Early on it is established that this won't be simply a story of two friends working out their personal demons and trying to shake the power of an addiction to hardcore drugs. Something supernatural is taking place here, as an entity is making itself known through cryptic messages to Michael and its obvious that it is not happy. Now, this is a difficult part of the film to discuss without spoiling the experience, but the supernatural aspect was initially suspect and probably leading towards predictability, yet by the end it was absolutely the soul of the film, the piece that I loved the most and admire so deeply because of what it is really trying to say beneath the surface. In the end you may not comprehend what the message was, and this is understandable. The closing moments are rather ambiguous and confounding, but pay close attention to the dialogue during this film as they discuss that the entity is looking for a story and needed the right ending to it. Then the final words uttered of the film made it all click, and I wanted to stand up and give an ovation to whomever was smart enough to write this extremely self aware and clever screenplay. 

While far, far less comedic than the film Cabin in the Woods, I was reminded very much of that here with Resolution because bubbling beneath the surface of this story is a look at horror films and what we, the audience, demand of them. If you decide to pull up Netflix streaming and give this one a spin (and you absolutely should), think about the title and what it might mean: Resolution. The main characters here, Michael and Chris, come to one in the end and it certainly isn't what I could have ever expected, but would the supernatural force that threatens them allow it to happen? 

In the end this isn't a film about Michael or Chris or drugs or drug dealers or even the lurking dangers of a supernatural force at all. It is a film about expectations and the workings of the human mind, and in the end it asks us a question: do we want a warm and uplifting resolution in which Chris chooses to go to rehab, turning his life around and becoming close with his former best friend again? Or do we want exactly what we were expecting all along? 

4.5/5

The Thing Review

Released two years before I was born and considered by many to be one of the great masterpieces of horror cinema, I finally now witnessed John Carpenter's The Thing and sure enough, I found myself pulling the blankets up over my face but not for the reasons I expected. Sure, it was a pretty terrifying feature and worthy of a bit of fear induced cowering, but the fact that I paused the film at one point to go get an extra blanket was mostly because of, in my opinion, the single most brilliant aspect of the entire experience: the setting.

An isolated, claustrophobic winter landscape on its own can be daunting and scary. I actually prefer the house to be cold at night while I am watching a movie, but honestly, I grew a bit uncomfortable and was searching for warmth as The Thing rolled along, which is a massive compliment to what the film was able to achieve. The beauty of a location like Antarctica is that it somehow simultaneously is both open and never-ending and yet closed off and small and hopeless. It's like you have everywhere and yet nowhere to go all at the same time. In this way, it is actually more suffocating than a very small room or a prison cell because with those locations, you know what to expect if you are able to reach the outside. On the other side of those walls lies freedom. Even if you are surrounded by death, even if you can't trust the man next to you...the deadly cold presents no other options. You can't stay, but you can't leave either. Hopeless.

Suspenseful, haunting, agonizing, grotesque. John Carpenter crafted my absolute favorite horror film of all time, Halloween, and with a few more viewings of The Thing he may have placed another work on the same, elevated pedestal. The score by Ennio Morricone, the photography of the barren landscapes, everything. I feel as if I need to watch this again soon in order to truly appreciate it with the depth it deserves.

I'm sitting here in shorts and a t-shirt in the warm comfort of my home, but just writing about this film makes me feel cold all over again. How often does a film literally make you uncomfortable enough that you are forced to change your clothes?



4.5/5