Wild Tales Review

The first of six standalone short films sets the tone for the entire experience. We meet various characters on an airplane as they all meet each other, discovering the strange "coincidence" that they all seem to know the same person, a man they have all wronged in one way or another. One of the passengers refers to this seemingly chance small world encounter as "cosmic" but in reality it is anything but. It's an implausible, absurdly calculated opportunity for revenge and only minutes after we are introduced to these people and their stories their tale ends, the screen goes black and we move on to a new chapter. 

If you watch Wild Tales and hope that the people and their plights will all be tied together eventually with a neat little bow, it isn't going to happen. No, the only dots that can be connected here are stylistically and thematically as each short is it's own animal, although the animal is always violent, angry and looking to quench a thirst for revenge. The most important connection here, however, is a very simple one that is sure to be the reason everyone needs to experience Wild Tales: it's so damn funny.

On paper the premise of this anthology feature sounds quite dramatic but it's actually a comedy of the very dark variety, and I was laughing early and often. It's littered with terrific dialogue and wonderful characters and delicious satire, worthy of the Oscar nomination it received earlier this year for Best Foreign Language Film. Despite this 2014 recognition, unfortunately a theatrical run didn't occur in the U.S. until a couple months into this year so spoiler alert: look for Wild Tales when I count down the best work of 2015 down the road. You will absolutely discover that it made the cut when all is said and done.

If I were to nitpick a flaw here it would be that the six separate short films are not created equal, as some of them excel more than others, but at the same time this fact makes the chance of discussion and debate all the more fun. Everyone is sure to have their favorites, their reasons for connecting to some and not all, and for me the best of the bunch were the third short titled El Mas Fuerte (The Strongest), an absolutely brilliant scathing satire on the absurdity of the concept of machismo masculinity, the fourth installment titled Bombita (Little Bomb) about a man who gets fed up with society and the fact that his voice isn't heard and carries no weight until he does what he does best to make a very loud statement, and the final of the six called Hasta que la muerte nos separe (Until Death Do Us Part) that shows us a wedding that starts off as an expensive, over-the-top celebration until the bride discovers a scandalous secret about the man she just married earlier that very day. 

Overall, Wild Tales is a hilarious success, a very clever and unique experience that never truly missed but rather hits with a little less force in some spots but bowls us over in others.

4.5/5

Welcome to Me Review

It's mildly amusing. It's mildly meaningful. It's mildly heartfelt. It's mildly interesting.

It's mostly bullshit.

Welcome to Me is the brand new film from director Shira Piven, wife of hit comedic filmmaker Adam McKay and sister of Jeremy Piven, and it stars former Saturday Night Live star and current pretty darn good actress Kristen Wiig. Wiig showcased her range in last years solid The Skeleton Twins, and she shows a bit of it here too, but not enough. For the most part, her performance here feels like an unsuccessful skit from SNL rather than any actual, real portrayal of mental illness.

She plays Alice Krieg, a woman who does not believe in luck because she has learned from Oprah Winfrey that success is a mindset. If you believe in success, you will find it, plain and simple, and one day her usual lottery ticket matches up number for number. With millions in her account, she quits taking her psychiatric meds and starts living her life the way she wants to, which includes paying for her own two hour television talk show.

Some of the comedic bits do enough to invoke a smile and maybe a slight chuckle, but nothing more. The dramatic sequences try so hard to hit hard but they rarely do. The attempts to have the story resonate emotionally miss the mark because frankly, I never once bought into the entire experience. When a film really works, my brain forgets that I am watching a film at all. I will connect with the characters, I will feel uneasy because of their struggles, I will root for their success and I will shed tears because of their pain. Absolutely none of that happened here. Welcome to Me does just enough to avoid being a total train wreck, because Wiig is pretty decent in parts and as I stated at the start, it does a some things mildly well, but for the most part it feels so damn phony. 

It's a shame because the general concept could have worked if handled better. There is a story here about the misconception that money heals all wounds when in reality there are far more important things than the amount of zeros at the end of your bank balance. Money can't buy real relationships, it can't build self esteem and it can't cure a mental illness. Winning the jackpot doesn't bring Alice the happiness most assume it would and that is an important message to tell, but Welcome to Me isn't a good enough film to take seriously. 

2/5

Decades of Cinema - 10 Best of the 1990's

My previous "Decades" lists are here: 1920's, 1930's, 1940's, 1950's, 1960's, 1970's, and 1980's. Here are my ten favorite films from the 1990's.

10. The Matrix

Forget about the shitty sequels for a second and just remember how damn cool The Matrix was when it was released in 1999. I had never seen anything like it, a noir science fiction experience that, at the time, pushed the boundaries of cinema in ways I could have never imagined. 16 years later and it has aged quite well, perhaps because it was ahead of its time.

9. The Shawshank Redemption

I know there are plenty of people who frown when a person mentions their love for The Shawshank Redemption. I am one of the lovers, not the frowners. The whole film is still such a warm blanket for me, but those last 30 or so minutes? My goodness, just thinking about the conclusion of this film makes me joyful and tingly. 

8. Good Will Hunting

Superbly written and performed, Good Will Hunting is the type of film that I can watch over and over and over and never grow tired of it. Add in the recent passing of the great Robin Williams and watching what is arguably his finest performance as an actor makes the entire experience even richer. 

7. Fight Club

Where as I made sure to mention that The Matrix has not aged poorly, Fight Club actually tastes like a fine wine. This shit is more delicious with each passing year. One of quite a few masterful efforts from director David Fincher, a cinematic mind fuck that has, in my opinion, one of the most brilliant and strangely beautiful final scenes in recent memory.

6. Goodfellas

A cinema lovin' buddy of mine correctly pointed out that I left Raging Bull off of my list of the best from the 1980's. This wasn't an accident, I think it is an outstanding film but it simply didn't make the cut, but the absence of Scorsese was not going to happen again. I can't even begin to imagine a best of the 90's list without Goodfellas.

5. The Big Lebowski

I am often times guilty of not taking comedy films seriously enough. I love them but for whatever reason I have trouble ranking even the best of the genre up near the best of other, more dramatic work. This does not apply to The Big Lebowski though, which is not only my favorite comedy of all time but one of my 25 favorite films, period. The 1990's were such a strong part of my film lovin' life that the top 8 of this list all rank in my top 50 overall.

4. Eyes Wide Shut

The final achievement from the genius Stanley Kubrick and this is a film worthy of the words misunderstood masterpiece. Advertised as a sexy thriller with the "it" couple at the time of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman starring, in reality this is a brilliantly creepy, hypnotic advertisement for monogamy. Deemed a "lesser" Kubrick upon its release, Eyes Wide Shut is anything but.

3. Se7en

Was I too young to see Se7en the first time I did? Absolutely. Do I regret this for even a second now? No. Not at all. When I was 12 years old, I had seen very few examples of "great" cinema and Se7en was eye opening for me, and not just because of the shocking content. The craft is out of this world, featuring an aesthetic that is somehow simultaneously crisp and yet gloomy and dour. This and, ironically, the next film on this list are the two movies that taught me how evil the world could be at an age when I couldn't really comprehend such a thing.

2. The Silence of the Lambs

I can't even begin to try to figure out how many times I have watched The Silence of the Lambs. I recall watching it numerous times and loving it and yet never knowing until years later that it had been so successful at the Oscars. It's easy to understand why, since if you offered me 100 dollars to name a flaw of the film I would come up empty and stay broke. The performances are incredible, including the iconic evil turn from Anthony Hopkins as the infamous Hannibal Lecter. The storytelling maintains a perfect, intense flow throughout and Buffalo Bill gave me nightmares when I was young. I welcomed the lack of sleep.

1. Pulp Fiction

Quentin Tarantino is an incredible screenwriter, and I honestly believe Pulp Fiction is the greatest screenplay ever written. A perfect cast utilizing perfect words with perfect execution leads to an end result like this, the best film from the 1990's. "Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead."

Next list I will move into the current century with my ten favorite films released between 2000-2009. The image over is from one of the movies that will make the cut. 

The Wedding Ringer Review

My cinematic calendar didn't officially start anew in 2014 until early February when I saw The LEGO Movie in the theater and my goodness, what a way to kick off a fresh slate of films. So clever, so unique, so fresh and so funny, I have now watched that movie three times and up until about a week ago it held firm in my top 10 of 2014. I have seen roughly 110 releases from last year now, and the one that started it all, The LEGO Movie, sits at #11, and this early success felt like an omen for what proved to be a fantastic year in film.

My first film of 2015 was The Wedding Ringer. Uh oh.

I learned last year that it isn't fair to assume the worst prior to actually seeing a movie, because honestly I expected very little from The LEGO Movie based on the trailers and advertisements blaring on my television every few minutes and I was shocked to find a hilarious, heartwarming and quite brilliant work when I actually saw it. So while I obviously didn't expect much from The Wedding Ringer, you never know, right?

Terrible. It's just a terrible movie.

I was searching for laughs and yet I came up empty. I was hoping for some charm and yet I felt so cold. The Wedding Ringer is just recycled, lifeless material, a misguided pile of tropes that have already been done to death before, assembled together here in a way that makes it seem like they are selling the audience something fresh and clever.

At the very least I would have hoped that perhaps some entertaining performances could have elevated the screenplay, but no such luck. Kevin Hart has mastered the art of playing Kevin Hart, but perhaps he should try something different for a change. I show more range as an actor when I call in sick to work. Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting is listed as an "actress" when you Google her, but I think that may be a stretch. Her performance in The Wedding Ringer makes her about as much of an actress as I am an astrophysicist. It was painful to watch her force facial expressions and deliver lines with absolutely no charisma. I assume her being offered this role had a lot more to do with the fact that she is recognizable from the most popular television show on the planet and not because of any sort of captivating audition. I feel as if they could have found someone better for the challenging role of "hot girl who is surprisingly marrying Josh Gad", but I guess a lesser known face might effect ticket sales.

Speaking of Josh Gad, he was the one I was hopeful of the most here because I like the guy and I think he can be funny, but alas he missed the mark as well. Although I will say, of the three he certainly came the closest to bringing some semblance of joy during the film, but really that's like winning a game of "How many fingers am I holding up?" against two blind people.

The Wedding Ringer is the first release of 2015 I have seen and it has a legitimate shot at making my list of worst of the year when all is said and done. Not a great way to start.




1/5

The Skeleton Twins Review

A quick glance at a poster for the film The Skeleton Twins and you will likely have the wrong idea of what to expect from it. Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live alum that almost certainly promise wacky laughs and silly comedy, are the two stars of the film so I would imagine that the opening sequence would prove to be a bit jarring for an audience looking for their typical material.

Bill Hader plays Milo, and we meet him at an inopportune moment, right at a time when he has decided to lie back in a bathtub and we see the once clear water turn red with blood. Kristen Wiig plays Maggie, a woman battling her demons and we don't need verbal confirmation of this as she stands in a bathroom, preparing to swallow a handful of pills. She doesn't though, as what stops her is a phone call informing her that her twin sibling Milo had attempted suicide, a brother that she had not seen in decade. 

The beauty of the screenplay of The Skeleton Twins is that it somehow finds a perfect balance for these actors, one that allows them to utilize their comedic chops yet it also proves to be a breakthrough for both of them on a dramatic level. The entire film isn't nearly as bleak as that first sequence makes it out to be, as it easily elicited laughter from me and also had moments that were warm and joyous and suited for a smile, but at the heart of the story was a focus on depression, one that felt authentic in this setting with these people.

I think the aspect that worked for me the most with this film was the way the characters are portrayed, as real people with real flaws and real issues. Neither Milo nor Maggie are perfect, far from it, but isn't that true to practically everyone? When an issue like adultery rears its ugly head, it isn't handled in a way that would make people hate the cheater and say things like "Why would she do that?!". It's simple, she would do that because she is human and humanity is riddled with flaws and poor decision making and guilt and mistakes and the ups and downs of existence. Hader and Wiig bring a shocking level of nuance to these roles that makes it easy to understand why they lead such troubled lives: because they are real, because people out there right now are just like these two characters and I am sure plenty more have enough similar traits to relate to their plight. 

Even when they are at their worst, when it seems as if the bottom has fallen out on Milo and Maggie, I found I could empathize with them because something as simple as a look in their eye demonstrated their conscious understanding that what they were doing was wrong and deep down they desired more out of life. They just want to be better.

Can't we all relate to that in some way?

4/5

10 Worst Films of 2014

While the year is not yet done, especially in cinematic terms as I usually don't flip over my movie calendar until the Academy Awards, I have soaked myself in plenty of horseshit this year and I believe I am finished seeing films that I am likely to loathe. Therefore, I feel the time is right to lay out the ten movies I truly hated the most in 2014.


10. Nymphomaniac: Volume II

My Review of Nymphomaniac Volume II

I can't take credit for this quote, it was said by another user on a film site I frequent, but I think it so perfectly describes Nymphomaniac: Volume II: I love movies and I love porn. This was neither.

Boring. So boring. Surprisingly uninteresting in subject matter too, as you would think at the very least the story of a nymphomaniac would be shocking enough to keep the viewer's attention. I couldn't care less what happened to the characters, the dialogue did nothing for me, I was already mentally moving on to something else by the half way point and I had to force myself to sit through the rest and properly evaluate the film, as I previously have enjoyed the work by Lars von Trier and thought perhaps I would extract something eventually. I didn't.


9. Let's Be Cops

My Review of Let's Be Cops

A comedy completely void of humor. Uh oh. I didn't laugh once. I didn't even crack a smile.

I believe I heard this was quite successful financially and thus has earned a sequel. They will probably be cops again and absolutely nothing clever or of merit will occur for 90 minutes. Sign me up!


8. The Purge: Anarchy

My Review of The Purge: Anarchy

The part that bothers me the most about this terrible sequel is that I actually had hope for it. That's not even something I can fault the movie for, that's on me. When I first heard the concept of the original Purge, I was cautiously optimistic that it could be interesting, a commentary about a the deep flaws of humanity inside a low budget horror film. What we ended up getting was Ethan Hawke stumbling around his house for 80 some minutes, and it was atrocious. The film had absolutely nothing interesting to say, it was just the set up for a completely generic, boring home invasion premise.

When the sequel rolled around, I saw clips of people out in the streets, out in the middle of the purge and I thought alright, here we go. Perhaps this will give us something to actually chew on, a little bit of subtext underneath these events. Nope. Nothing. Merely an exercise in moving from one set piece to the next with the possibility of death hanging over everyone, but who cares? I sure didn't.


7. Pompeii 

A film about the incredible true story of the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and the massive loss of life as a result? In the last 30 minutes, sort of. A love story involving a slave and the daughter of the man who rules the city? It's there, but briefly and with absolutely zero chemistry. So what is Pompeii really about? Well, a majority of the film is just terribly choreographed sword fighting. This crap fest is like the love child of Titanic and Gladiator, except only half the running time and with absolutely nothing complimentary to say about it, unlike those two films that birthed it.

I haven't seen the nominations for the Razzie awards yet, but if Kiefer Sutherland isn't nominated for his role in Pompeii, than those "awards" are an even bigger joke than they admit to being.


6. I, Frankenstein

My Review of I, Frankenstein

A film so terrible that I actually spent the entire time watching it developing an idea for a television series about Frankenstein attending college. No, seriously. Check out the review above and let me know if I should pitch the concept of Yo, Frankenstein to networks.


5. 3 Days to Kill

My Review of 3 Days to Kill

I will say this about 3 Days to Kill, at least I remember it. Not in a good way, as just seeing the title again made me emit a pained laugh. McG directs (your first sign this is gonna suck) this story about Kevin Costner having cancer and getting an offer from Amber Heard which basically consists of kill these three people and you will get the cure. She just kinda has a needle with this wonder drug in it. I guess you just have to be pretty and pretend to be a bad ass to come with some amazing scientific shit.

This terribly executed main premise also tries to balance a father reconnects with his daughter side story, and it sucks. I don't know how else to put it, it's awful. Costner and his daughter have no chemistry on screen and their dialogue is a joke, and they spend so much time trying to develop this relationship that you forget what the original stakes of the film were in the first place, only for them to get back to the action and then you recall, oh, right, he has to kill The Albino to save his life. That's the name of the big bad guy. The Albino.

Such a terrible film.



4. Need for Speed

Oh Aaron Paul. After Breaking Bad, I was willing to follow you anywhere, as proven by the fact that I sat through every awful second of the film Need for Speed, which had one really funny scene in which the dipshit dude driving the one car way too fast on a road full of innocent people blows himself up. That's the only scene I really remember, and not for the reasons it was going for, as you could tell it was actually striving for emotional resonance. I thought it was really funny, until I remember that he was the only victim. All these other completely terrible characters lived, and thus the driving of cars and terrible writing and ridiculous performances would continue.


3. Winter's Tale

My Review of Winter's Tale

I'm still convinced this was actually intended on being a practical joke, but the studio was too dumb to catch it so they green-lit it anyways. I refuse to accept anything else. How could people with actual talent be involved in the production of this tripe and take it seriously? Perhaps that explains the bloated, absurd 60 million dollar budget, the checks to the actors were so above the norm they were willing to be a part of this disaster as a cash grab.


2. The Legend of Hercules

To be clear, this isn't the one with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in it that was released as a summer blockbuster. Whenever I told people I saw this train wreck, they thought I was referring to that film. No, the other Hercules movie that was released in 2014, the one with Kellan Lutz in it. Who the hell is Kellan Lutz, you may be asking? I have seen the movie and I don't know. I don't care either. This was just a giant bag of crap from beginning to end, and if it were another year it may just be the worst, but not in 2014...


1. A Million Ways to Die in the West

My review of A Million Ways to Die in the West

Just having to list this atrocity makes me angry all over again. The only thing I could not finish watching released in 2014, and notice I said thing. I refuse to refer to this as a film, or a picture, or a movie. It isn't worthy of those distinctions. This was nearly a death blow to comedy as a whole, as not only is there no single split second worthy of a laugh, it is actually offensively awful and insulting to the audience watching it.

Seth MacFarlane has done some funny and entertaining things in the past, but A Million Ways to Die in the West is something he should have to apologize for. Without a doubt, the worst film I saw in 2014.

A Million Ways to Die in the West Review

I understand comedy is subjective, and normally I can appreciate the concept of to each their own, what I may love others may loathe and vice versa...but seriously, fuck this movie, this awful, painfully unfunny nonsense. Everything Seth MacFarlane has done prior to this garbage is now rendered meaningless. He doesn't earn a pass for this pile of shit because he made Family Guy and a decently funny movie about a talking teddy bear. It may be difficult to watch anything associated with the man again, past or future work, because at this moment even hearing his voice makes me feel ashamed of what passes as comedic material these days.

Is it possible this was done intentionally as a joke? Like, perhaps MacFarlane knows this is offensively terrible and is just trolling the film industry to see if people would actually pay to watch such a cringe worthy 105 or so minutes. At one point he actually questions why what a character is doing is funny, and he turns towards the camera and asks someone near them why they are laughing? Is it possible that this was a breaking the fourth wall moment and he was actually asking the people in the theater, why are you laughing and how is this funny, referring to his own film? This moment comes immediately after they play a carnival game titled Runaway Slave, where they shoot...you get the idea. This is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with this level of "comedy". There is nothing funny about this, and if you laughed at it you should feel some level of shame for it. No I am not being overly sensitive, this is a fact. The inclusion of a shooting slaves joke is literally just MacFarlane trying to be shocking and controversial, hoping they write articles about how edgy he is, how much he is willing to push the limits, when in reality he is just an uninspired asshole.

I am writing this with the film paused and still twenty some odd minutes to go, and you know what? I'm not going to finish it. I am not going to waste another second of my life watching something this horrible and boring and cynical and trying to find some decency in it. There is nothing redeeming or interesting about this gross attempt at humor.

I laughed more while at the hospital with my daughter while she was treated for a serious injury last week. The nurse that was helping to reattach her finger had a better grasp on comedy than Seth MacFarlane. Seriously, fuck that guy.

0.5/5

Neighbors Review

I entered a matinee of Neighbors today and my mind prepared for the comedic delivery and timing of Seth Rogen, as he is one of my favorites going today. I wondered how Zac Efron would hold his own when sharing the screen with others known far more for comedy than he is, because honestly, I am a 30 year old man. I have not encountered a ton of his work as he became a household name to a younger, Disney channel audience. This isn't a criticism of Efron at all, good for him to make his mark in any way he could, but familiar with him and his actual abilities as an actor I am not. I recognized that despite a relatively small sample size and without a leading role base it off of, I have become a fan of Dave Franco, a solid supporting piece in films like 21 Jump Street and Warm Bodies. I considered the talents of Rose Byrne and the surprisingly large amount of films I had seen her in, a range of genres from her notable comedic turns to her part in the Danny Boyle science fiction Sunshine. Then it hit me, the one piece of the cinematic puzzle that I typically thought of first and foremost when entering a theater had somehow meant nothing to me. Why didn't I give a shit about director Nicholas Stoller?

The fact is, Stoller has already amounted a rather impressive career in a short span of time, yet for some reason I seem to treat the comedy genre in a different way than I would any other. The director of the fantastic Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the director and screenwriter for the hilarious follow up Get Him to the Greek, the man who wrote both new Muppets films, and yet I never once found his name in my mind when searching for reasons to be excited about Neighbors. I am hoping that begins to change, and my interest will be peaked when I see his name attached to a future project, because for the most part when I see the name Stoller in the credits, I am a fan of the film in question. Neighbors was no exception.

A very funny film about a young family in the grand scheme of things, a husband and wife probably in their early 30's with an adorable infant daughter, yet they quickly feel old when a fraternity moves in next door and their partying ways cause distress with their way of life. While the film consistently worked on a humor level throughout, I would say one of the flaws of Neighbors is that, I'm not sure if any one moment or specific moments really stand out above the crowd of gags to linger in my mind for whenever I need a smile. My favorite comedies always have insanely quotable, memorable lines of dialogue that I can randomly say to a friend fifteen years from now and we will both experience the joy of that film all over again in our minds.

Regardless, I am a big fan of what was accomplished here, a film that rises up above being merely about the sophomoric humor and occasionally grotesque imagery. The real surprise of Neighbors is just how nuanced its main theme is, the fear of the young who refuse to accept that their perfect, pressure free existences will at some point have to change when the responsibility of growing up is upon them, and also the fear of those in my age range, the realization of a 30 year old with a family that you can never go back to a time when we were younger and are allowed to be "cool" again. While I personally have no issues with my place in this world, I know plenty of people who are stuck in a purgatory between the past, a life of simplicity and fun, and the future, the true understanding of what it means to be an adult and care more about balancing a checkbook than keeping tabs on how many shots they have drank at the bar.

It may not be as exciting a piece of cinema as the 2013 gem This is the End, but Neighbors absolutely did its job and delighted me for 90 plus minutes this afternoon. All of the talk regarding this film will be based around the various cringe worthy sequences of crude yet clever comedy, but what I truly admire is that this had a message behind its madness and it delivered it.



3.5/5