Pixels Review

No, I didn't pay a cent to see Pixels. It was very much a free experience, financially speaking.

It cost me though. It took a toll on me. 

In reality, when someone writes a screenplay like the one featured in Pixels, they collect a sizable paycheck and giggle their way to the bank. If it were up to me, co-writers Tim Herlihy and Timothy Dowling would be subjected to the shame bell punishment featured in Game of Thrones. 

"Shame!"

*Bell sound

"Shame!"

*Bell sound

"Shame!"

*Bell sound

Listen, let me keep this simple. Pixels is terrible. It's a comedy that isn't funny, which as you can imagine is a problem. Adam Sandler sucks, but that isn't surprising because he always sucks. Him being in anything not made by Paul Thomas Anderson is likely to be a misguided effort. Kevin James sucks too. Josh Gad? Awful. Peter Dinklage, sadly, is probably the worst thing in this film, although his association with this increases the likelihood of the shame bell punishment I mentioned above. He can probably borrow the bell and the set used in Game of Thrones to dole out what is due to the gentlemen who actually got paid to write this. 

And there in lies the problem with this whole thing: the writing. I feel bad blaming anyone in the cast because they had zero to work with. Peter Dinklage can say these words in a funny voice all he wants, it won't make them humorous. It starts and ends with the script, and the script never had a chance. 

If you look at the career of writer Tim Herlihy, he essentially has fed his family entirely from writing bad Adam Sandler films.

"Shame!"

*Bell sound

"Shame!"

*Bell sound

"Shame!"

*Bell sound

0.5/5